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Trouble with my dressing gown

Posted on Jan 8, 2014 by John Scotcher
Just after Xmas (well, actually on Xmas day, whilst the folks were having their afternoon nap) I ordered a new dressing gown.  It is a big black hooded affair that is sold as being a 'Sith Lord Dressing Gown'.

I'm actually wearing it as I write this (don't judge me, it's 07:40 am and I haven't had a coffee yet), along with a black onesie and big black furry slippers.  This outfit is so comfortable that when I am working at the desk at home (most days), I am struggling to think of a reason to wear anything else.  For one I get to keep telling the cats 'I am your father', which thus far continues to amuse me no end and for another I get to keep making lightsabre noises as i move stuff; for example the coffee i have just made.  I would write the noise I am making down here, but I am struggling to work out how to spell that very particular noise a lightsabre makes.

The funny thing is, I don't even really enjoy the Star Wars films.  I did as a boy, but I never developed the obsession with them that many friends did.  They're ok, I guess.  They do their job well (episodes four to six at least), but there are far better movies out there.  I bought the dressing gown because it was the biggest, most comfortable looking one out there.

The dressing gown itself, with a change of logo or colour could be just as easily marketed as a 'Gandalf' dressing gown, a 'Hogwarts' dressing gown, even a 'Micky Mouse' in 'Fantasia' dressing gown (though this might need mouse ears too), and that got me thinking.  Did none of these wizards have to deal with the practicalities of day to day living?  

If they did, in between spells they would have experienced some considerable problems.  Thus far my, um, wizards sleeves (stop sniggering at the back) have, in no particular order; dipped into tea, coffee, and orange juice; caught on a huge number of doors, stopping me in my tracks or, if I don't notice, yanking my arm backwards as I pass the door, knocked one of the cats off the desk (that one was actually funny), and caught my kindle and knocked it off the bed.  

In practical terms, any garment that is shaped like a wizard's robes is as useful as an actual book of spells (sorry Wiccans, but this is the real world and you are silly).  Thus when I'm wearing my dressing gown, I think this should be a perfect excuse that I should be allowed to do nothing and be waited on by minions.  Monkeys ideally, with wings and wearing fezes; carrying little trays of sweets and wine.  

Now, if I can just convince the rest of the world.  

 

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Don't you love an animal in a fez.

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